Types of Self-Care
Self-care. Something that is trendy again in light of the Covid-19 pandemic.
It’s a gentle cry to take care of yourself and to look after your body and mind. It’s reassurance that loving yourself is not selfish, nor a sign of defeat.
Most models categorise self-care into the aspects of Physical, Emotional, Social, Mental, Spiritual, and the like.
When I think of self-care, I relate it to some super relaxing activity like going to a spa, hanging out at the beach, sleeping in a hammock… you get the drift.
But more recently I’ve discovered there’s other aspects to self-care which work better for me.
You see, the idea that the best way to take care of myself is to let it all go and take a holiday sounds great, but it’s also frankly very difficult for me to do without a lot of guilt.
Have you ever planned a holiday only to work extra hours leading up to it (to make sure you’ve covered everything while you’re not available), then spend the holiday feeling guilty and having the urge to check what’s going on at work. Have you found yourself saying “You know how to reach me!” to your co-workers and honestly hoping they wouldn’t hesitate to do so?
If you said, “Nope, I’m good at going offline, it’s also my responsibility to take care of myself”, then hats off to you!
Recently I’ve been introduced to another way of looking at self care, which includes the above, but also two more elements. I found the additional elements make it more holistic and have a greater impact on my mental state.
Three kinds of Self-Care
- Relaxation
- Effortful and skill-based self-care
- Taking care of important things
Relaxation is well understood, but it can be simpler than planning a big holiday. You simply can’t squeeze your self-care needs into a short bursts. Taking a walk, listening to an e-book, meditation, taking a bath, are all examples of relaxation self-care you can build into your daily life. For me, making the first cup of coffee in the morning mindfully before starting the day can work wonders.
Effortful and skill-based self-care sounds like a strange idea; isn’t effort what we are trying to get away from? There’s actually a well-being benefit with doing things that are difficult and builds our skill over time. This is related to our sense of pride that comes along with mastery, and our sense of identity. This can include cooking, baking, painting, playing a musical instrument, crafts, gardening, etc. Ideally something you are applying rather than just gaining knowledge to.
Taking care of important things is definitely a category that I personally overlook. “I’m too busy” becomes a flimsy excuse all too often, and these things tend to pile up and take up mental space and also makes us feel like we are being defeated. These are things that you are procrastinating, such as cleaning the house, working out, going to the dentist, paying bills, and other “life admin”. This also includes having hard conversations, thinking about what really matters to you, and so on. For me, a clean house always end up being more therapeutic than having a bubble bath knowing that there are dirty dishes in the kitchen sink. I’ve found personally that this reduces stress triggers, so works really well to then give me space to enjoy the relaxation type self-care!
This framework really helped me be more conscious about my own self-care, and I also love how it widens the range of activities that count as self-care. I hope it helps you too.
